Let Us Begin

Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We have only today.

Preparing for Baby Girl {rejoicing in PINK}

on June 11, 2012

I have had a one track mind lately…

prepare, prepare, prepare!!!

no seriously, this nesting instinct is no joke just ask my husband.

 

Baby Girl is 36 weeks along today, (ahhhhh!) :)

which according to “thebump.com” means she is getting closer and closer to being okay on the outside (for everyone praying with us when there was a threat of emergency delivery at only 31 weeks – l think that calls for a big, collective sigh of relief) and that she is more or less about the size of a honeydew melon.

 

With the plan to deliver by cesarean at 39 weeks, that leaves only three weeks until her arrival (at the latest!).

It is definitely time to get ready for Baby Girl, which is precisely what I have been doing. :)

 

As I was washing the cutest, friliest, tiniest clothes you ever did see in Dreft and organizing all of that girliness in the nursery, I remembered something.

It must have been all of that pink that triggered this memory in particular to come flooding back to me at that moment… the impact of it leaving me in awe once again of our God who always fulfills His promises, humbled.

It was Gaudete Sunday –  when the third candle of the advent wreath is lit … a PINK candle (okay, okay “rose”) as a sign of the hope and joy that the long awaited coming of the child Jesus is not far off.  The darkness of Israel’s longing is beginning to dissipate and the promised light of Christ is drawing nearer.  The day of rejoicing is almost at hand!  On that Sunday, I can feel the anticipation of that newborn babe who would be born to set us free welling up within me.  The preparations of the entire body of Christ are in full swing as we ready ourselves to celebrate the blessed fulfillment of that promise made so long ago in the garden … a promise that we would not be left orphans forever, that the Father had not abandoned us to die the just consequence of our sin.  oh no, far from it … one would come who would crush the head of the serpent.  God’s beloved Son Jesus would be born to set us free that we might become adopted sons and daughters of GOD … that along with Him, the Spirit in our own hearts might cry out “abba – Father”!

I have always loved that third Sunday of advent, knowing Christmas is just around the corner – the anticipation of such festivity – of Love incarnate.

This year…

this year was so much more significant than all those that have gone before.  I think it had a lot to do with the state of my heart during that Advent season … the darkness was tangible and I longed with everything in me to just feel the warmth of light again.  The loss of my Veronica was still so recent and I was very much walking through that grief.  It was as if I was in the midst of a dense fog that I couldn’t quite find my way out of … it was a hard place to be.

At the same time, God was sharing more and more of His heart for the orphan with me.  As He did, the needs of little ones without a family to call their own in this world was breaking my heart too right along with His and leaving me … undone.  I knew that He was preparing me to be a mother to them and (I realize now) teaching me to wait upon Him until the moment He would reveal.  And although I was by no means doing nothing during that time of waiting, it just didn’t seem like enough.  I was growing discouraged by my perceived inaction when there was such a sense of urgency to respond overwhelming me.  And yet I didn’t know how I could do anything other than what I was already doing at the time.  I felt like I was failing in the mission the Lord has set before me and it was frustrating.

Those were the things I was wrestling with as I sat at Mass when it was time for the Word of God to be proclaimed.  This is what I heard:

Reading 2 (1 Thes 5:16-24)

A reading from the First Letter of St. Paul to the Thessalonians.

“Brothers and sisters:
Rejoice always. Pray without ceasing.
In all circumstances give thanks,
for this is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus.
Do not quench the Spirit.
Do not despise prophetic utterances.
Test everything; retain what is good.
Refrain from every kind of evil.
May the God of peace make you perfectly holy
and may you entirely, spirit, soul, and body,
be preserved blameless for the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.
The one who calls you is faithful,
and he will also accomplish it.”

The Word of the Lord.  Thanks be to God.

 

Rejoice… Pray…  Give Thanks…  This is the will of God… spoke comfort to my grieving soul

and then, what practically had me up out of my seat wanting to cheer right then and there!?

“The one who calls you is faithful, and HE will also accomplish it.”

 HE will accomplish it!  Of course He will.  He cannot be anything but faithful and true.

I cannot tell you the exhale of relief from the deepest part of me to be reminded once again that this was HIS call, these are His children that He had called us to adopt and that He is always faithful.  I really just needed to keep doing what I was doing so that I could be ready when He called us onward and delight in waiting for His move.  I could have laughed out loud for sheer joy in knowing that I didn’t know how or when but that was okay.  It really didn’t matter.  I didn’t have to figure it all out.  It would all come to be because He had called and we were willing and our “yes” was all He needed.  He would do the rest. 

And here I am six short months later folding pink baby clothes with our adoption just weeks away remembering Gaudete Sunday…

Baby Girl must have been only 6 weeks or so along at that time, her mother probably just beginning to realize the possibility of a new creation being formed within her.  God knew.  How necessary that formation was! and now He reminds me as if to say, “remember that day you felt so discouraged?  I had a plan.  I was already moving and guiding and leading the way, preparing you for her even then and knowing that the time of waiting would soon be coming to an end.”

It really is too much, isn’t it?  He is good on His word.  better than good.  He is God.

and I am rejoicing in pink.

 

-Alison


4 Responses to “Preparing for Baby Girl {rejoicing in PINK}”

  1. Ann Soave says:

    *tear* *tear*…you get me all the time. And HE does too! I am rejoicing in your pink plans and people. Love. It!

  2. momma says:

    Oh my Goodness, Alison!! You have me in tears as you share HIS faithfulness!! What a beautiful testimony of His love!! I can’t wait to see her in all those tiny, frilly, PINK outfits! I love you, Mom

  3. Julie also gave me your blog addy. I have one too… I love reading about adoption stories:)

  4. Sarah K says:

    This is sooooo beautiful! I read it last week and have been meditating on it in my heart. Wow, I will never look at pink the same again. Tears in my eyes; joy in my soul.

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