Let Us Begin

Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We have only today.

Here I Am {part two in a series}

on March 27, 2012

That was the moment that my phone started ringing

The voice on the other end of the line was not God’s, well not directly anyway (although I’m sure the secretary at the parish where I work was amused by the title of my last post).  For all intents and purposes it might as well have been an angel of the Lord appearing right there in the middle of my kitchen because she was most certainly just as effective in being His messenger to me in that moment.


Come to find out that at the very same time I was on the phone with those adoption agencies, watching the door to China close firmly in front of me, a young lady that we have come to love dearly through ministry had been sitting in her doctor’s office and recieving a devastating diagnosis for the 18 week old baby in her womb.

She had thought that she would be finding out if she was having a boy or a girl.

Instead they said the words spina bifida

and tossed out phrases like “incurable neural tube defect”, “born with an exposed spine”, “poor quality of life”, “may never walk”, “could be confined to a wheel chair”, “hydrocephalus”, “arnold chiari malformation”, “lemon sign”, “multiple surgeries”, “brain shunt to drain fluid”, “high level of care”, “need for specialists”, and “potential bowel and bladder incontinence”…

and although they didn’t push, they did offer a way out.

a chance to avoid bringing a child into this world that would have to suffer so much pain

kindly assuring her that most people in this situation would choose to terminate.  They called it a therapeutic abortion.


My friend left that appointment all alone, not knowing where to go or who to turn to.  She only knew that she needed to get away from there and talk to someone she could trust wouldn’t tell her to kill her child, think she was crazy for continuing this pregnancy, or judge her for even being pregnant in the first place.  Although this pregnancy may not have been planned or taken place under the most ideal of circumstances, and even though she had been wondering how it would ever be possible to make things work to parent this child herself even before that day’s diagnosis had been given, this child (spina bifida and all) was most definitely loved.

And so she started driving without ever really deciding on her destination.  She assumed that she would probably end up at her best friend’s house before realizing that she had already passed it.  Only then did she find herself in the Church parking lot just outside of my office wondered what in the world she was doing there.  ”No offense” she told me later “but I hadn’t talked to you in a long time and it seemed strange to show up now”.

But then somehow (and not so coincidentally happening at the very same time I was praying for God to show me what came next), she said she just felt as if God told her that I would be able to help her…

and so she came in and thank goodness Julie was there and assured her that yes, she had no doubt that I would help her however I could.  When I got that phone call, I really didn’t know exactly what that help would look like but I did know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God was taking me up on my offer and that the details didn’t really matter.

He was quite simply inviting me to love and to allow my heart to be stretched in ways that it had never been stretched before both for the sake of this mother and precious little one.



 ”Then I heard the voice of the Lord, saying, “Whom shall I send, and who will go for Us?”  Then I said, “Here I am.  Send me!” – Isaiah 6:8


2 Responses to “Here I Am {part two in a series}”

  1. howard and sharon says:

    Our Dearest Alison and Johnny, Our prayers are
    with you each and every day for your beautiful family. Also our Dear Lord will have this little one as perfect, to bring glory to himself. May each of us learn by this act of love to be lead by the Lord.

    Our love Grampa and Gramma

  2. momma says:

    Beautifully written…..you and Johnny are beautiful witnesses of following God’s guidance! I can’t wait to meet this little angel that God is sending into our family! I have said so many prayers for her and her birth mother, and for you and Johnny! I love her so much already! She will be here soon!!

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